I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
