You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
