i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
