Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
