Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
