Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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