Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
