Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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