She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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