i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
