Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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