wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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