Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Everything about him screamed your future.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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