i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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