There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
