just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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