You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
