god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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