'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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