she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
