ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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