and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
