I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
