I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
