i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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