I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
