She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
