I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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