I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dick very happy bro
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
