Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
