We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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