I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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