Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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