yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
