I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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