now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
