My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
