If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
