New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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