She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
