i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
