I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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