i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
