Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
