I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's official drugs can't kill me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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