I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
