guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
