I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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