so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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