Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
